Today I got to talk to my friend about an issue that has been prevalent in my life, and has just begun to make an appearance in her life as well. As we were talking about this, we stumbled upon a thought that just may have been the answer we were both looking for - what if, while we were searching for the answer to this problem, we were only masking the root of the problem, like painting the walls to make it seem better, when it's the dry wall that's crumbling. Like picking the leaves off of a weed isntead of pulling on the root.
If there is one thing I have learned, it is that there is a root problem to every situation. To every dilemma there is one unmistakeable catalyst in the situation. Sometimes we see it clearly, other times, years have to pass before we see the purpose.
For example, one that has been recently showing up in my life lately, has been an inconsitancy in being faithful and committed to the regular life of a Christian. Some of you may be sitting there like "But Shannon. You just talked about how dangerous routine is in your last post."
Yes. Routine is dangerous, if it becomes more about the cycle than the action.
In my Christian walk, I don't want a dead faith. I don't want to sit in church pews to warm seats and drink the copious amounts of coffee they offer. I don't want to write blog posts about how awesome my walk with God is, when I know there are many flaws. I don't want a regular life of setting personal goals of achievements, like finishing college and getting married. I don't want a cycle.
I want a commitment to a living God.
I want my faith to be living. I want to go to church so that I can lift my arms to praise Jesus, without regarding the chains and weights hanging from wrists, (And maybe drink the coffee).
I want to share my walk with the world, so that they know that Jesus doesn't just work through perfect people, because his heart is for the imperfect individuals like myself, who He is working every day to change and renew for His purpose and His works. I want a not so regular life, of following whatever path Christ calls me to follow. If that calls me towards a university degree and a family, that is where I will go. If Christ calls me to the middle east, that is where I better go.
The routine I long to see in my life, is that of constant praises being sung, despite the current conditions of what I am going through.
The routine I long to see in my life, is that of people coming to the realization that Chris exists, just by interacting with me.
The routine I long to see in my life, is hours on end of studying, practicing, and praying about what the Bible has to say.
The routine I long to see in my life, is Jesus in my life.
Because, without that - what is this faith I speak of? Where is the hope that I preach but don't prove?
I've been challenged to get to the root of why I am the way I am. Where are the hope and praises? Where is the peace?
I've been challenged to get to the root of why I am the way I am. Where are the hope and praises? Where is the peace?
By no means do I have the answer to any of these questions - but what I have noticed is that how much of these characteristics I have inside of me, depend on how much time I'm pouring into my relationship with God. I am nothing. He is everything. (James 1:17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows). The root of my problem is a human condition - and it is that of a lack of Christ, and an excess of myself.
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